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Yo, this blog is hilarious and real: 8 years later.

Here I was, absent-mindedly looking for a copycat Boston Market Rotisserie Chicken recipe to cook in my new Instapot. I was looking at a blogger site for all things copycat recipes when I saw a link to my Blogger profile...Wait, did I have one these? Re-reading through these posts has been, without a doubt, truly hilarious and ironic. The words of 20-year-old me are so genuine, goofy and weirdly wholesome, despite the smattering of excessive profanity. My life could NOT be any more different than it is in these posts, but I am inspired to start it back up. My therapist and I have been exploring what cripples me to truly pursue what I want in life. As she says, a lot of it is "ancient shit" - some voice telling me that if I am not the best, I am not worthy. I've always wanted to become a writer, maybe not in the most traditional sense (novels, poems), but even sketch comedy or essay writing. Writing has always been an area of my life that I feel immense vulnerabilit
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Sorry...

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To the multiple people who have bitched about me not blogging, I am sorry that I am in a fuck  funk right now with my creativity. Promise to be back up shortly once I feel inspired.  For now, enjoy this photo of Kermit the Frog.  until writer's block ends, akp
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Off to FLORIDA #suckstobeyou

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I'm off to sunny Florida and will not be blogging while I am there. Sorry, losers. Seeya in 10 days! West Palm Beach Bitches
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Organics and Bitches: My life at Whole Foods

Sorry fellow bloggers! I have been swamped with working like a donkey at Whole Foods the past 2 weeks that I have neglected to post anything :( I am a terrible person and promise to keep up in a more timely manner Since I have been dedicating so much time to work, I figured I'd talk a little bit about the organic food emporium of Whole Foods Market Wheaton. From "Whole Paycheck" to "expensive as shit," I've heard every single nickname that has been created for this great place of business. While I may complain about the ridiculousness of my job and bitch about how much it cuts into my social life, I love where I work. My co-workers are some of the nicest, hardworking and unique people I have met in my life and the benefits of working there are pretty spectacular. From a great insurance plan, to a 401k, not to mention my 20% discount (which I can apply to be greater if my blood pressure, bmi and shit are all in order), the job is pretty much foolproo
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Shit, my friends now know about my blog.

Fuck. The real world and the virtual world have crossed over. I shamelessly exposed my blog to them and now, I can not longer scorn and bitch about them in a public forum. This could lead to some negative repercussions...So instead, I decided to do a little tribute about each of them, hoping that they'll read it and feel good about themselves for a brief moment the return to their bitter, self-loathing lives (only joking, kinda). I will specify that these friends are in NO particular order of favorites. And that no dirty secrets will be revealed, I can't go "Harriet the Spy" on all of them and have them hate me for writing down things observed in my journal. How about to keep it fair, I go in chronological order of when I met them? Caitlin Deirdre Lynch I decided to chose a picture where we look like utter and complete hotties, so that we can remember the good days. I met Caitlin in a very ambiguous year, sometime in preschool presumably, that it's so far
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Cinco de Drinko: The Sober Edition...but not really...

Now that my freshman year has come to an official close, I am at home, working, cleaning, Facebook stalking, shopping, eating and doing my mom's bitch work. Since I've been everyone's pack mule (including my own) these past few days, I completely forgo the beauty that is today...Cinco de Mayo. In order to make up for the fact that Cesar's is an hour away from here....I present MARGARITAS Tonight, two of my best friends, Ellie and Cassidy and myself will be going to see a Middle School version of "Your a Good Man Charlie Brown" to just beef up our loserdom even more than it already is, then hit up the "Coco Loco" in West Chi-ghetto. Apparently, they have 99 cent tacos and will be pretty hoppin' tonight for Cinco de Mayo. And maybe, just maybe we'll be able to get some margs. PLEASE GOD LET THERE BE MARGS. In other news, I am going to FLA in just two weeks with my friends Madeline and Caitlin!! I have been purchasing non-s
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The Most Historic Weekend of My Life

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Sorry world to have blogged so little in the past few days, as the title states... ITS BEEN A HISTORIC WEEKEND! Let's break down all the crazy shit that happend April 29-May 1, a la "Best Week Ever" on Vh1. Friday, April 29th 2011 Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding! I cried my eyes out! What a beautiful wedding...I secretly wish that Brian was the Prince of Poland so we could be married in the same style. Oh well. Saturday, April 30th 2011 WWSHS Classics win National Championship! The video says it all. Sunday, May 1st 2011 Osama bin Laden is announced dead! There I was, innocently watching a sex trafficking documentary on MSNBC and then there is a breaking news of the President making an announcement to the world! Who thought he'd killed the single-greatest threat to the US to date? He told the country that he had found a lead last August and finally found that it had lead him to bin Laden being hidden in a compound in Pakistan. S
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